The other day my son wanted to do something, and I asked him if he’d gotten his chores and homework done yet. He started complaining that we have the rule in our house that chores and homework have to be done before other things, and I heard myself using a total parent line: “You don’t have to like it…” and I wanted to follow that up with “you just have to do it,” but instead I said, almost to myself, “but it’s a lot more fun if you do.”
Think how much more enjoyable it would be if he liked doing chores and homework! It wouldn’t feel like a burden — it would be fun that happened before other fun 🙂
Did you know that we have control over whether we like things or not? Jody Moore shared a story once that stuck with me for some reason — she said she was at a store with a friend and the clerk was giving them change and only had dimes. The clerk said something like “I hope you’re ok with dimes,” and her friend responded, “I LOVE dimes!” 🙂 She said she was so impressed with her friend’s attitude — it was such a little thing, but he chose to express enthusiasm and to love dimes in that moment, because that’s what was available.
We can choose the same…to love what is available to us — to not only endure it but to find joy in it. I’m talking about our current reality. As Byron Katie says, “When I argue with reality, I lose…but only every time.” If we find ourselves in situations that are challenging and we don’t have control over, if we sit there thinking about how much we hate it, we just spend our time and energy wallowing — it doesn’t change the situation but makes us more miserable. But if we put our efforts towards NOT hating it, towards finding the ways it’s beneficial or the things about it that we could actually like, then we are on a path that’s much more likely to lead to happiness and peace.
Plus, if we came to actually like it, it would be a lot more fun 😉