Once upon a time, something happened. That thing that happened was just an event in the world — not particularly good or bad.
But then someone became aware of its having happened, and that person had an opinion about it. They decided it was a good thing … or a bad thing. And they told themselves and everyone around them about that thing and how good it was … or how bad it was.
This story-telling and opinion-making made this person feel good … or bad. And because they were feeling so good (…or bad), they acted a certain way.
And because they acted that certain way, they created certain results for themselves.
Their overall experience of this event and their life around it was colored by their original opinion of it.
This story is your story. And my story. And every single other human’s story.
The facts of the matter are simply that — the facts. It’s our thoughts, opinions, and stories about those facts that create our experience of the situation.
This is great news, because this means that WE have the control over our experience of the circumstances of our lives, even when we don’t have control over the circumstances themselves.
So if you wake up one morning with a headache and other symptoms flaring up, the fact is that you’re experiencing symptoms. And you’ll probably want to take it easy and take care of yourself. But the story you tell yourself about the fact that you’re having symptoms will color your whole experience.
If you tell yourself that you’re not getting better, or that you have no hope for your future, or that all the hard work you’ve put into recovery didn’t pay off and never will, you’ll probably feel worse than the pain your symptoms are producing. There truly is no problem we can’t make heavier with our thoughts.
But on the other hand, there is no problem we can’t make lighter with our thoughts. You may not want to feel great about having symptoms another day. You probably will want to feel some disappointment. But you might choose to think something like, “Well, I thought I was going to do ___ today, but I guess I’m going to rest and take care of my body instead.” or “This is just this moment—not forever.” or “It’s ok that it’s not ok right now.”
When we separate out the FACTS of our situation from our STORIES about it and what we’re making it all mean, we see that we can tell ourselves whatever story we want — whatever story will serve us best. And we can have compassion for ourselves along the way — we have good and valid reasons for the stories we tell ourselves and what we make things mean to us, but ultimately, we can choose our stories.
Let’s tell ourselves the ones that help us become the people we want to be in the world.
Cheers,
Bethany