I needed to process an emotion today. I used this system and it surprised me yet again at how effective it is. You process, and it goes away to the point where you can’t feel it anymore. And when it comes back (it almost always does at least once), you process again and it goes again. It’s the coolest trick ever.
I could go on and on about all of this, but I’m going to restrain myself and just give you the quick summary version here. Here is how to process an emotion:
1 — Name it. (A one-word feeling word – ie: “this is anger” or grief, frustration, guilt, disappointment, anxiety, etc.)
2 — Go out of your head and into your body. Feel the emotion — lean into it, breathe into it. Allow it to be there and get curious about it. What is it like in your body? Imagine you’re describing it to someone who has never felt a human emotion before — where do you feel it in your body? If you had to describe it with a color, texture, shape, what would you say? Is there movement to it? Temperature? Tension?
3 — Give yourself grace through the process. It’s ok that you’re feeling this emotion — you have valid reasons for it. And whether or not you like those reasons, the chemicals have already been released in your body and need to be processed. Imagine the emotion as a friend or the childhood version of you or even a beloved pet or animal — if a friend knocks on the door feeling sad or anxious, you wouldn’t slam the door and tell them to just get over it. Don’t do that to yourself either — love you, hug that little version of you, cuddle that sad puppy — be as kind to you in your struggle as your heart wants to be to others who are suffering.
Chances are, when you are describing the emotion and allowing yourself to feel it, it will disappear and you’ll be left unsure of how to describe it because it’s just not there anymore. And when it comes back, you get to do this again, but it might be easier the second time around.
Processing emotions is a process. It’s a skill to learn, and one that we’ll get to practice over and over again through our whole lives because we are human.
So give this a try the next time you’re feeling that pit in your stomach or your heart racing. Get out of your head and into your body and allow the emotion to be there as long as it needs to be there.
You’ve got this. I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
Love,
Bethany