The other day, I was heading to my car as I was leaving a beautiful building. I turned around to admire it and soak in the beauty before hopping into my car. After I started driving away, I looked at the building again through my bug-stained windshield. It made the building appear drastically less pretty. The thought struck me that the beauty of the building wasn’t altered or different (I had just barely seen it clearly) — but the lens I was viewing it through altered my perspective of it.
Sometimes the lens through which we see situations or events in our lives makes our perception of them different from the reality before us. Our nervous system state can color the lens through which we see everything, and alter how we perceive experiences. For instance, if we are in a hyper-activated state (fight or flight), we are defensive and tense, and will likely view even innocuous comments from those around us as threatening or unkind. If we are in a hypo-activated state, we may find it hard to find the good in any situation…or believe that words from others are demeaning when they were not meant to be. But neither of those perceptions reflect the reality of the situation before us — just our interpretation based on the state our nervous system is in.
It is incredibly helpful to our mental and emotional well-being to be able to differentiate between facts and thoughts — between what is reality and our story or perception of reality. It’s not easy to do, especially in the moment (so give yourself a lot of grace), but the more we can question our automatic thoughts and ask, “Is that really true? Is it accurate?” the better we’ll be able to let go of hurt or angst based on misperception and improve our own mental health and our relationships with those we love.
If you feel like you could use some help distinguishing between thoughts and reality, stories and facts, please sign up for a free consultation.
Cheers!
Bethany